60% of Parents Feel Pressure To Match Others on Back-to-School Spending

As you head to the mall for back-to-school shopping with your child, you may hear a request for $100 jeans, even though there’s a comparable pair that costs substantially less. You pause, not wanting your child to feel left out — to be the one who doesn't fit in because you won't buy "those" jeans.

You’re not alone. In a recent MoneyLion survey, 60% of parents said they felt pressure to compromise and match what other parents were spending. At the same time, 60% said they've turned down items because of the cost. About 37% of parents said they feel that pressure multiple times a year.

Back-to-school shopping has become a conundrum for parents because they’re see-sawing between the emotion of wanting their child to fit in — especially on the first day — and also trying to stick to their finances.

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Key Findings

• Six out of 10 parents have told their kids they couldn’t purchase a back-to-school item because of the cost. Nearly a third of those parents have had to say no more than once.  

• Younger parents felt more pressure to keep up than older parents. Among parents between ages 18 to 24, 55% reported feeling pressure to match what others were spending.

• At least 36% of parents felt judged by another parent for spending too little on back-to-school shopping.  

• Where you live may shape how much spending pressure you feel. According to the study, 49% of parents in the Northeast reported feeling pressure to match others' spending. Parents in the South felt less pressure, with only 33% reporting that they felt they weren't spending enough.

• Roughly 41% of parents have judged other parents' back-to-school spending, whether for spending too little or making too many purchases.  

The Back-to-School Scoreboard: Why Everyone's Secretly Keeping Score 

Instead of simply buying school supplies to prepare kids for the year ahead, some parents may feel like they're competing with what everyone else is purchasing. It can become a race to cross the finish line with the “best” supplies instead of focusing on what tools are the best fit for your child.  

The "Keeping Up" Tax Hits Parents Hard

The pressure to keep up isn’t an isolated event. In the survey, parents said they feel the need to keep up with trends they see on social media or hear through word of mouth, with some feeling that pressure multiple times during the school year.

• Of the parents surveyed, 37% said they feel the pressure to keep up multiple times during the school year.

• Among parents ages 18 to 24, 55% said they feel pressure to keep up. Younger parents may be more plugged into social media and the trends that come with it.

• Just 19% of older parents reported feeling that pressure, substantially less than younger parents.  

1 in 3 Parents Feel Judged for Not Spending Enough 

The survey data proves that parents aren’t overamplifying the judgmental gaze of other parents. It’s real.

• More than half of parents 18 to 24 feel judged by other parents for not spending enough.

• When you consider all parents, no matter their age, 36% report feeling judged for not spending enough. 

Let's Be Honest — We're All Keeping Score

It’s a two-way street. The survey reveals that some of the parents who feel judged may be a part of the problem, too.

• Nearly 41% of parents admitted they’ve judged other parents on their back-to-school spending habits.

• About 25% have judged parents for spending too little.

• Another 17% have judged parents for spending too much.

Parents are definitely caught in a conundrum. Some who may feel judged for their own spending are also judging how much other parents are spending.

Saying "No" Is the Norm, Not the Exception

Even though parents are feeling like they aren’t meeting expectations when it comes to back-to-school shopping, many are also not giving in to the pressure.

• Six in 10 parents said they've told their child no to a back-to-school item because of cost.

• Of those parents, 31% said they've had to say no more than once.

Parents need to look at their budgets and decide what works for them instead of playing into the comparison game. The survey suggests that many are resisting the urge to compromise their finances in order to impress others.  

Other Notable Survey Findings  

The comparison game doesn’t just stop at the cash register. The survey also found an interesting disconnect between parents' privacy concerns and their social media habits.

• About 60% of parents are worried about their children’s photos being hijacked or altered by AI.

• Nearly half of parents said they're posting even more photos online than in previous years.

Parents may still fall into the cycle of comparison and sharing online, even while having valid concerns about their children's privacy.

When Back-to-School Spending Becomes About More Than Money

It’s clear that back-to-school shopping isn't just about the money. Parents and kids are also worried about fitting in and starting the school year in the best possible place.

There’s an emotional weight that comes with back-to-school shopping because of comparison culture. As a MoneyLion certified financial expert, I've seen how finances can also carry psychological and personal undertones.  

Why Comparison Culture Affects Parents 

It’s a natural feeling to want to compare yourself to others. But when the metric becomes scrolling through social media and judging who has enough, it can become harder to resist the urge to spend more during back-to-school shopping.

I’ve witnessed people stretch themselves financially just because they want to fit in. When so much is made public to friends and strangers alike on social media, kids may start requesting the latest:

• Jeans

• Sneakers

• Backpacks

For most parents, the pressure their children feel to fit in can fuel the desire to provide, even if it means breaking the bank.

Social media promotes curated images of the latest brand names, but very few parents are talking about the cost associated with the purchase.  

Why Back-to-School Has Become Emotionally Charged

With the rise of social media, going back to school has become highly visible. Parents and kids alike often post what they wore on the first day of school.

Parents are also aware of the pressure kids face when so much is shared online. Most don’t want their kid to feel left out because they aren't sporting the latest backpack or sneakers.

That can create a tug-of-war between wanting to give your child what they want and knowing some items are simply beyond the budget. 

The Difference Between Needs and Expectations  

I advise parents to start by clarifying what their child actually needs in terms of basic supplies and clothing. Most parents can manage that list. The problem often arises when expectations start getting confusing with needs.

As a parent, you might explain that your child can have one “want” item, but the majority of items need to fall into what’s affordable and needed.

Back-to-school shopping can be used as a tool to teach your children about finances — how to make a budget, what’s affordable, what they actually need and what may be an expectation created by comparison culture.   

How To Balance Back-to-School Costs With Your Budget 

Back-to-school shopping doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank. There are practical steps you can take to lessen the burden of pricey school shopping while still getting your child everything on the list. Here are my recommendations:   

• Take inventory of what you already have: Look through your closets and drawers for leftover binders, pencils, pens, notebooks and other school supplies. You don’t want to double-up on supplies that you already have.  

• Mark tax-free weekends on your calendar: Many states offer tax-free shopping periods for school supplies, clothing, footwear and backpacks, though restrictions may apply.  

• Don’t fall for labels: Store-brand supplies often work just as well and can cost a few dollars less per item. Generic glue sticks, notebooks, pencils and other basics can add up to meaningful savings.

• Establish a budget: Decide how much you want to spend on tech, school supplies, footwear and clothing. Setting a limit can help you avoid impulse purchases that could threaten your budget.  

• Be strategic about how you shop: Consider using coupons, store sales and cash back on your purchases. Combining savings strategies can help stretch your budget even further.

• Talk to your kids before you go shopping: Naturally, kids will be excited about shopping and want everything in the store. Talk about the budget and set boundaries early so they aren’t surprised when you say no to certain items.  

• Don’t feel the pressure to buy everything in one weekend: Stagger your spending and get the basics first. Wait for further savings when stores mark down their merchandise after the rush of school shopping is over.  

Methodology    

MoneyLion surveyed 1,000 U.S. respondents through Omnibus between July 17 and July 23, 2026. The survey covered several consumer topics, including back-to-school spending. Findings cited in this article are based on responses related to back-to-school shopping and spending.

Photo credit: Inside Creative House / iStock