The Hidden Risk of Being Totally Financially Independent That No One Talks About
Being totally financially independent seems like the ultimate money goal, right? You’ll never need to make a withdrawal from the Bank of Mom and Dad. You’re free from the hidden strings that come with opening the family purse. At the very least, you’ve got serious bragging rights — especially if you’re young.
So it may surprise you that being absolutely financially independent comes with a hidden risk. Spoiler alert: It’s incredibly stressful to be completely on your own financially. Nobody talks about this stress — or what it means to live without a safety net. Until now.
MoneyLion caught up with Andrew Lokenauth, financial expert, author at TheFinanceNewsletter.com and founder of Be Fluent in Finance, to explain that risk.
1. Operating Without a Parachute Is Scary
With 20 years in finance — including time at JPMorgan, Goldman Sachs and Citi — Lokenauth saw “how family financial support creates invisible safety nets that most people don’t realize exist until they’re gone.” He observed it not just in clients, but in colleagues.
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“During my years in banking, I watched colleagues handle financial stress very differently based on one invisible factor: family backup,” he said. “Roughly 40% to 50% of millennials have received financial help from parents in their 20s and 30s. That means about half are truly on their own.”
He compares true financial independence — without family assistance — to operating without a parachute. When your car breaks down, there’s no one to call for a loan. If you lose your job, you may not have a home to return to. Need a down payment? The family cavalry isn’t coming.
It’s all you.
“Most people think it’s just about emergency money. It’s not,” he said. “It’s about every financial decision carrying permanent weight.”
2. Being Without Backup Limits Choices
Many people think financial independence simply means living on your own. Lokenauth says it’s far more nuanced — and riskier than most realize.
“Living on your own sounds like independence,” he said. “But having zero family financial backup means you’re playing poker with your only chips.”
He’s seen people with identical salaries make wildly different life choices because one has a family safety net and one doesn’t. One can buy a condo at 28; the other can’t even consider it — despite earning the same income. The difference? A $30,000 down payment gift from grandparents.
“True financial independence means your bills can never be backstopped by anyone else,” he said. “You can live alone and still have parents who’d cover your rent if you got laid off. That’s a safety net. Real independence means it doesn’t exist.”
3. Added Security Enables Risk-Taking
While working at Goldman Sachs, Lokenauth noticed a pattern: Junior analysts who quit to start companies or change careers often had family money behind them — not millions, just enough to cover basic costs for a few months.
“The safety net isn’t just money,” he said. “It’s permission to take risks.”
He points to common forms of that invisible safety net:
Down payment gifts that don’t need repayment
Interest-free loans that never come due
Credit card debt parents quietly pay off
A bedroom that stays available
Car insurance on the family plan
A phone call that solves a $2,000 crisis in 24 hours
“That last one matters most," he said. "It’s not the money, it’s the speed. Problems that become catastrophes for some get solved with a phone call for others.”
4. Temporary Problems Can Have Permanent Consequences
Financially independent people also face a harsher reality: Temporary setbacks can permanently alter their lives.
“I saw this pattern repeat: Two people hit the same obstacle. One recovers in weeks. The other’s life changes forever,” Lokenauth said. “The difference wasn’t intelligence. It was whether they could make one phone call.”
Without family help, these are the kinds of issues that can snowball:
Medical debt that lingers without a fast family loan
Credit damage from a single car repair that raises costs for years
Missed career opportunities because you can’t afford a pay cut
Delayed continuing education because you can’t stop working
Forced immobility because moving requires cash you don’t have
“The biggest risk is decision fatigue,” he said. “When you’re constantly calculating survival, you lose the ability to think long term.”
5. Lack of Resources Hinders Long-Term Growth
After years of advising clients, Lokenauth reached a simple conclusion: “The math is the same for everyone. The answers are different.”
Family support helps some people make that math work. He uses homeownership as an example:
“The advice is to save 20% to avoid PMI. On a $400,000 home, that’s $80,000,” he said. “Someone making $75,000 and saving 10% needs more than 10 years. But someone gifted $60,000 only needs three.”
That head start compounds. Someone with help may buy at 28 and start building equity immediately. Someone fully independent might not buy until 38 — if at all — forfeiting a decade of wealth-building. By the time they finally make their first mortgage payment, their peer may already have $150,000 in equity.
The same dynamic applies elsewhere.
“Having kids becomes brutal without backup. Child care costs $15,000 to $30,000 a year in most cities,” he said. “Can you do it without free grandparent babysitting? Without borrowing $10,000 for fertility treatments? Without help paying for preschool?”
It’s a heavy lift alone.
The Bottom Line
Making your own way is powerful. But the invisible safety net of family support dramatically affects your ability to take risks, live well and build long-term wealth. People rarely talk about how limiting — and stressful — its absence can be. But they should.
“The people who most need to make safe choices are the ones who need to take risks to get ahead,” Lokenauth said. “But they can’t afford them.”
This article was provided by MoneyLion.com for informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice.
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