4 Things To Do If You Always Feel Behind With Money
In a recent video posted on his eponymous YouTube channel, financial personality Vincent Chan posed a question that millions of Americans can — perhaps reluctantly — answer “yes.”
The question: “Do you ever feel like you’ll never catch up financially? Like, no matter what you do, you’re always three steps behind everyone else?”
Chan discussed four strategies for catching up so that, at long last, you're no longer three steps behind with money. These are strategies that can help you with pretty much any obstacle in life — and refreshingly, they have nothing to do with, say, getting a side hustle or being even more frugal than you already are.
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1. Dial Down Social Media Usage
Chan first discussed our relationship with money in the psychological sense. Each of us has a tendency to think about money in a certain way — and we may be skewed in our perception. This leads us to possibly avoid money conversations or problems, or to worship money as the ultimate and only cure to any misery. It may also lead to the deceptive feeling that we don't have enough, even if we're doing fine.
Social media usage can amplify and further warp our psychological relationship with money. You will never see your own finances clearly if you're constantly consuming images of how other people publicly display wealth or the lack thereof. Dial down your social media usage (this will also likely help you curb your impulse spending, which social media heavily promotes).
“We have countless studies that show that frequent social media use is linked to higher feelings of jealousy or envy or lower self-esteem,” Chan said. “But it goes beyond just making ourselves feel bad about ourselves. It’s also dictating our behaviors.”
2. Recognize That the Middle Class Has Been Set Up To Struggle
Feeling behind isn’t always just in your head — you may actually be facing tougher financial conditions than previous generations.
“I never want to imply that it is just a mindset issue,” Chan said of our thoughts about and dynamics with money. "Because the reality is, it's not. There are very real systematic issues that make it increasingly difficult for the average person ... to achieve what was once considered normal financial milestones for previous generations."
Align your expectations of where you should be with the present day. More than a quarter of Americans say they are "just getting by," according to October 2024 survey data from the Federal Reserve.
3. Use the Cookie Jar Method
Once you recognize why you may feel (and in fact be) behind financially, look at what you can do to gain your footing and get ahead. Chan swears by the "cookie jar method" — and it's easy to do. Chan credited ultramarathon runner David Goggins for coining the term.
To use the cookie jar method, imagine a cookie jar (you can draw it out if that helps) and every time you have a financial win or meet a money goal, put it in the imaginary cookie jar.
"We are documenting anything that slightly improves our finances or demonstrates some sort of financial discipline," Chan said.
This will help motivate you and, more importantly, it will help center you when your mind is racing with doubts and the pervasive thought that you're hopelessly behind.
4. Rewrite Your ‘Money Stories’
Chan has personally benefited from "rewriting" his money stories. This is how you really break through the money psychologies that may be holding you back from meeting your financial goals.
To do this, you'll take the following actions:
Write down early memories about money or financial dynamics in your life. "Especially ones that carry some sort of emotional baggage, whether that is good or bad," Chan said.
Explore every aspect of the memories. Get to the root of who, why, what, where and when. Then, ask yourself how these events made you feel.
Determine which money psychology (scarcity, avoidance or worship) was formed as a result of core money memories? Be prepared to take your time here. It can be emotionally and mentally difficult to get through.
Reframe your beliefs about money that were shaped by these events or traumas. Think of the ways they may have empowered or otherwise served you.
Next, build habits off the reframing. Did growing up poor make you penny-pinching to the point of avoiding investing? Instead of fixating on the negatives, create a habit that will help you break the downward spiral cycle. Maybe this means revamping how you budget or setting up annual meetings with a financial advisor.
You may be behind somebody else financially, but keep in mind, as Chan said, "There is no universal timeline for becoming financially successful. There is just you, your life, your path and what you choose to do with it starting today."
This article was provided by MoneyLion.com for informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal or tax advice.
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