MoneyLion
Oct 25, 2026

I’m an Attorney: 5 Estate Planning Errors That Can Pit Families Against Each Other

Your legacy should bring peace, not family drama. Smart estate planning can make the difference.
Written by Josephine Nesbit
|
Edited by Cory Dudak
I’m an Attorney: 5 Estate Planning Errors That Can Pit Families Against Each Other

Estate planning, and sometimes the lack of it, can often trigger family fights after a death. When a parent or loved one isn’t around anymore to discuss inheritance decisions or explain their reasoning, disagreements and resentment can turn into legal battles.

No estate plan can guarantee that family members won’t disagree, but certain choices are more likely to create conflict than others. Attorneys say these estate mistakes can trigger family feuds. Below, we'll discuss some of the most prevalent errors people make so you can attempt to avoid them in your own arrangements.

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Barry E. Janay, Esquire, founder and president of The Law Office of Barry E. Janay, P.C. in Livingston, New Jersey, explained that the concept of “fairness” is more amorphous than it appears at face value.

“Most families leave their estate assets to their children to ‘share equally.’ Well, that's easier said than done in a lot of cases,” Janay said.

For example, Janay explained that children who inherit a vacation home may disagree over whether to keep or sell it. Differences over the property’s use and upkeep can also become points of contention, he added.

According to Holly Davis, founding partner of Austin, Texas-based firm Kirker Davis, one of the most common conflicts is between the adult children from the deceased’s first marriage and the surviving spouse from a second marriage.

Davis recommended having a clear estate plan in place to make your wishes known to all family members, and having a conversation about what is to come so there are no surprises.

"Your children may understandably expect to have an inheritance after your passing, but so will your surviving spouse,” Davis explained. “These kids-versus-stepparent fights can sometimes become very bitter and contentious. But a detailed estate plan might save your family a lot of heartache, not to mention legal fees."

Unequal inheritances aren’t always the result of what’s written in the will. Gifts or property transferred during someone’s lifetime can also create disputes.

“Even siblings who got along pretty well most of their lives can turn into adversaries if they believe that the parent or other relative who passed intended something as an advance against their estate to help them get by or something of the like,” Janay said.

Patrick Simasko, elder law attorney and financial advisor at Simasko Law in Mount Clemens, Michigan, said unequal inheritances can cause resentment when the reasoning isn’t explained.

“After you’re gone, loved ones who received less assets than others feel as if they were less loved, or that their other family members convinced you to disinherit them,” Simasko explained. “This often isn’t the case, but you never communicated your reasoning, and it leads to family fights.”

Creating a joint account with one child to help manage a parent’s expenses can also lead to arguments, particularly if other heirs question how the money was used.

Janay warned that the arrangement “can lend itself to misuse” and may require an accounting to prove the funds were spent for the parent’s benefit.

Relying on family members to carry out your wishes without putting them in writing can lead to disputes, especially when money is involved.

Janay explained that he has seen situations “go really wrong” when someone verbally instructed one child to divide money with a sibling rather than documenting those wishes in a will or trust.

“Oftentimes, this leads to a court battle,” Janay said.

This article was provided by MoneyLion.com for informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal or tax advice.

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Josephine Nesbit
Written by
Josephine Nesbit
Josephine has covered a wide variety of topics like saving, investing, real estate, loans and retirement. Her work has been featured in national outlets, such as Rocket Mortgage, U.S. News & World Report, Homes.com and more, where she focuses on helping consumers understand how financial choices affect their long-term goals.
Cory Dudak
Edited by
Cory Dudak
Cory has worked as a finance editor since 2018, focused on providing readers with money advice across a broad range of categories from budgeting and saving to banking and cybersecurity. He is informed by his previous work with GOBankingRates, where he also contributed to the brand’s newsletter, video and social media.