Dave Ramsey vs. Suze Orman: Who's Actually Right About Rescuing Family Members With Money?
When you’re standing on the shore of financial security, watching someone you love drown in the sea of financial uncertainty while they hold out a hand for help can feel impossible. The problem is so common that popular financial experts Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman have regularly fielded questions about it.
Ramsey and Orman understand your desire to help. But they don’t want you to get pulled under financially as well. Each expert has strong — and very different — opinions about helping loved ones with money. So which one makes the most sense for your situation?
The answer is: It depends.
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To help you figure out which expert opinion feels like a better fit, MoneyLion breaks down their basic philosophies.
Dave Ramsey: Tough Love First, Money Second
Dave Ramsey has said that bailing out a struggling loved one — especially if they haven’t changed the behaviors that landed them in the financial deep end — can make the problem worse while also damaging your relationship.
“Don’t loan people that you like money because you change the relationship. There’s shame, there’s control issues,” Ramsey said.
When one caller asked for advice about taking a loan from his in-laws to pay for a new home, Ramsey quipped, “When you owe your father-in-law money, Thanksgiving dinner tastes different.”
He said the in-laws might look at every decision the caller and his family made through the lens of whether they would get paid back.
Ouch. You don’t think you’d be that harsh. But point taken: Don’t loan family members money. So, what can you do?
Ramsey has a follow-up suggestion that might surprise you with its generosity: Don't lend the money. Give it.
Writing for Ramsey Solutions, Ramsey team member Rachel Cruze explained the wisdom in this approach: “If you can do that financially, then go for it,” Cruze wrote. “But don’t put yourself in a hole or stretch your own budget out of some sense of guilt and family responsibility.”
If your family member’s financial troubles are a one-time incident or the result of something truly beyond their control, giving them a gift — not a loan — may be the cleanest way to help without damaging the relationship.
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Suze Orman: Helping Can Teach Your Loved One To Better Manage Money
Like Ramsey, Suze Orman believes that you shouldn’t compromise your own financial stability to help your loved ones. She encourages you to apply a “generosity test” to decisions about whether to help.
“If giving someone money will mean you can’t pay down credit card debt this month or add to your emergency savings, that doesn’t pass my generosity test,” Orman wrote.
Yet she has a more nuanced opinion about whether to loan or simply give a loved one money. On her blog, Orman has suggested that giving money to someone who needs guidance in budgeting — or someone who is new to personal finance — may not actually help them build better habits.
After all, when they don’t have to pay the money back, they don’t need to refine their personal finance skills.
By asking them to pay you back, you’re giving your loved one a structure in which they can figure out how to budget more effectively and repay debt.
“They need help now, but when they are able, repaying the money will bring them a sense of responsibility,” Orman wrote. “Maybe that time comes next month. Maybe it comes next decade. It doesn’t matter. It may seem counterintuitive to you, but asking them to repay the money when they are able will enable them to stand taller.”
So, Who’s Actually Right?
Ramsey and Orman agree on some key points, including that you shouldn’t take any steps to help your loved one — whether you give them a gift or a loan — if your own financial house isn’t in order. And you shouldn’t jeopardize your own stability to bail them out.
If the family relationship matters too much to risk damaging and you’ll truly be fine if you never see the money again, Ramsey’s approach may be better.
On the flip side, if your goal is to help someone build long-term financial discipline and you’re comfortable setting expectations, Orman’s repayment-based approach may be more effective.
The Bottom Line
Helping your loved ones resolve their money woes isn’t just a financial decision — it’s an emotional one. It can reshape relationships, create expectations and have long-term consequences, so it shouldn’t be made lightly.
Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman offer workable solutions, and both experts remind you that you always have the option of saying no.
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This article was provided by MoneyLion.com for informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal or tax advice.
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