How To Talk to Friends Who Are Struggling With Money
Ashley F. Morgan, bankruptcy and debt attorney at Ashley F. Morgan, Law PC, told MoneyLion she regularly talks to people who are struggling financially, including many people who have good jobs and good credit scores.
“Most people don’t want to talk about struggling with money,” she said. “Financial problems can be incredibly isolating because people often hide the truth. People are often embarrassed to admit they are struggling, so by the time they finally talk to someone about it, they may have been dealing with the financial problem alone for months or even years.”
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Read on for some ways to talk to a friend who’s struggling with money without making it anymore awkward than it needs to be.
Start by Listening Without Judgment
If you think a friend is struggling with money, you may start by listening rather than immediately trying to solve the problem. People often first want to know they’re in a space where they aren’t being judged.
“Going into any conversation about money, you want to play the role of someone who is actively listening,” Morgan added. “Hold off any judgment. To be the most helpful, you never want to start by assuming someone’s financial problems are the result of irresponsible spending.”
Taylor Kovar, certified financial planner (CFP), co-founder of UseKlear.com, said a lot of people want to help but end up saying nothing because they're worried about making it awkward. Instead, you can try just leaving the door open without pushing. You may mention that money’s been on your mind as well, so it doesn’t feel like you’re singling them out.
Avoid Feeling the Need To Solve Their Problems
Several of the experts who talked to MoneyLion wanted to make it clear that while talking can help, you don’t need to solve your friend’s financial problems.
“Sometimes being the person who can sit and listen is all that is needed,” per Morgan. “Being the person to sit with them and help them find a solution, if they ask, is often enough to help someone finally start dealing with a problem they have been avoiding.”
You probably want to be extra careful about trying to rescue someone financially without thinking through the consequences. Loaning people money can create an awkward situation, especially if money isn’t quickly repaid. It can change a friendship very quickly. If your friend is short $500 every month, giving them $500 this month may help temporarily, but it doesn’t fix what happens next month.
Instead, Brandon Gregg, CFP, advisor with BBK Wealth Management, suggested you try to offer other specific solutions to help your friend with their money struggles.
“When it comes to finances, there are general solutions to many struggles, but we must be careful not to generalize every area of the problem,” he explained. “Be specific and help with steps that lead to the end result. The hope is that behaviors change while working through the logistics of the issues at hand.”
Bottom Line
One of the big reasons why it can be awkward to talk about finances is that money shame often runs deep. That means people won’t ask for help because they think they should know better.
“Start by normalizing the conversation: Ask what they're managing, listen without judgment and then offer concrete next steps,” said Ali Zane, personal finance expert at IMAX Credit Repair Firm. “Credit repair is often the first win that rebuilds confidence."
This article was provided by MoneyLion.com for informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal or tax advice.
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